recently... always have some ideas that contradict with other ideas, like, always feel myself really shallow and want to learn so many things to enrich myself and at the same time I feel it's wrong to know too much 'coz I just found out the more I know the more I feel I couldn't fit in the society...

I dun support quoting things in blogs but I couldn't help this time because it's sooooo true, so read:

Wisdom for Grads: Practical Dilbert advice for new graduates who have no idea what's awaiting them in the business world.

• The person who sits nearest the boss's office gets the most assignments
  
• your potential for senior management will be determined by the three H's: Hair, Height, and Harvard degree. You need at least two out of three. (Non-Harvard schools will be acceptable if it's clear that you "could have gone" to Harvard.)
  
• your hardwork will be rewarded. Specifically, your boss's boss will reward your boss for making you work so hard.
  
• there's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want someone to like your idea, tell him he said it last week and you just remembered.
  
• Teamwork is what you call it when you trick other people into ignoring their priorities in favor of yours.
  
• Leadership is a form of evil. No one needs to lead you to do something that is obviously good for you.
  
• Business success is mostly about waiting for something lucky to happen and then taking credit.
  
• Preparing a Powerpoint presentation will give you the sweet, sweet illusion of productivity.
  
• It's better to be an "expert" than it is to do actual work.
  
• The first month on any new job should be spent talking smack about the "idiot who had the job before you."